Enjoy your English while you can... The European Commission has just
announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of
the
European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make
the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
is
disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with
"z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou"
and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.